Subject: Harriet
  • Met a death's-head woman in the street. Harriet for dinner. In dread of a child!





  • Harriet arrived with Lillan; told me she was almost killed by a falling chimney breast at home on 30 Biblioteksgatan.





  • Broke off with Harriet, for no reason!





  • Harriet, I and Lillan were going to Djurgården. When Harriet was waiting for the carriage outside her front door with Lillan, she saw two horses' heads approaching around the corner: "Look, that's our carriage!" she said. The horses arrived, and - were pulling a hearse. - Are these warnings?





  • Large rainbows around the "Castle" (the Barracks). Harriet almost killed by a stone thrown into the tram. Cf last autumn (August) when our horses bolted on Strandvägen.





  • Telephone in the morning from Harriet and she was going to come again. In the afternoon she had changed her mind.





  • Harriet arrived. And left again. All was well and loving!





  • Harriet arrived. Had dinner ... And left again, uncertain whether we would have more children.





  • Harriet's scent which has been absent returned again, strongly.





  • The colour violet persecutes me outside. Violet small squares in my study a floor up; a dark violet lily grew in the yard; violet wallpaper in the salon; (is it sorrow and death?); found a wig with a violet rosette; violet curtains in my room; violet paper as table runner; then I received violet braces from Harriet.





  • Letter from Harriet, loving! The cuckoo-clock was heard in the evening, insistently.





  • The first thing I saw outside my front-door this morning was a cart labelled "Victoria". Harriet here to dinner and we "came together" again (in dread of a child!).





  • When I drew up my blind this morning two white pigeons were sitting on a chimney, caressing each other demonstratively. Had a loving, rapturous letter from Harriet. Lillan for dinner.





  • Harriet had an operation in her (lying) throat.





  • Harriet accompanied me in Eros on the whole of my early morning walk. –- I went out and bought a revolver. Am preparing myself for death.





  • Harriet is having a mud bath (!)





  • Harriet, Lillan and I had dinner together at Lidingöbro; drove home by way of Djurgården.





  • A glorious morning; H-t was with me all forenoon, gentle, loving, like flowers in my mouth! Now I believe that she is free, and that we are united! But no, she disappeared in the evening, when Axel came; and although I received a summons to go to bed at 10 o'clock, she was not there to meet me. Slept, and experienced faithlessness; had bad dreams but was left in peace until morning when she sought me with passion, but without love. I responded x x x.





  • A heavy day, spent in idleness; slept much. H-t away; but towards evening could feel her stretching me below the chest. Went to bed, grew calmer. No contact with H-t during the night; I sought her but did not find her until 5 o'clock, x x.





  • I went up to Hasselbacken and looked at the veranda window and the Bird-Cherry, where I sat in the sun at my wedding breakfast when I married Harriet.





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